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Hilarious! Uniben hostel life experience: Eyimofe Samuel Wilkie


It was on a warm Saturday morning when an amiable friend of mine (Samuel Wilkie),from hall4 came to visit me at a rendezvous (hall 3), where we both discussed the trademark of hall 3 boys which they are notorious for, although they have successfully coined the scene full of invectives to a comic scenario,where every insult is used in catching fun.. After finish eating and discussing we both head straight to the so called "Arrow block" also known as (Ay's live centre).. immediately as we both climbed the staircase, we could hear chants from the arrow centre, as we finally got to the place my frnd was wondering what sort of place could this be??. Everyone was chanting and as well laughing,then he whispered to me saying "This place is really a comic centre"..
    As we settled down, in the place, we observed that they all paused staring at a short lady putting on lord's chosen banner from her appearance you could tell that she is not the kind of girl that involve in relationship stuff, we were still wondering if they wanted to praise her because of the way they all stared at her. The next thing we heard were chants all over singing a derogatory song to the lady, singing
" I am married to jesus satan leave me alone my husband is coming
  I am married to saviour satan leave me alone my husband is coming"
It sounded disparaging but we couldn't help but to laugh out our ennui in a whimsy manner.
    Behind her were two boys walking down hastily, immediately we all heard " Silence everybody " this was comig from the arrow lord himself saying " afa see those guys when dey come so na skin tight (abolo) them cut ooh!! As usual he greeted "Bros them I greet ooh", they replied "Chairmen na we hail pass ooh!!" then the arrow lord made a rhetorical statement saying " Bros them the una abolo na na jagaban oo e nr get part 2, E be like una don dey cut hair according to the economy ooh!! To sum it up a boy from the arrow block said " ah this abolo na the hard copy (original) oo the fake one nr dey market oo" lwkmd haha these arrow boy are mad comedians oo, they are certainly the best in satirizing people in uniben oo as we both laughed.
    Next were two girls heading for june 12, immediately as they saw the girls, one of them shouted ah "sister u are in distress oo smile na, we knw say ur relationship be like nairabet na every weekend the guy they break ur heart". She became ashamed as she tried covering her face, but her plump friend beside her was still chewing gum, then a guy frm the arrow block shouted
"Sist sist pls pls na
  Abeg try dey mess na!!
  Sist its free ooh!!
   Try dey mess ooh abeg biko"
Hahahaha as we all laughed but I thought deep down in me that if I were the girl, how would I have felt, still as we laughed continously...
    From close was a boy nd a girl laughing n heading towards june 12, soon as they got to front of the arrow block, a guy shouted
"Bros bros u dey folo girl up n down abi u nr remember say na church do ur clearance, instead of u to make ur mama proud u dey form swag but still if we conver ur GP to airtym e nr go fit flash"
the fun here is crazy my frnd (samuel) said, nd I replied saying " these guys must start up their own comedy show oo look at raw talent everywhere.. My frnd n I was already getting tired of laughing as the day was getting dark..
   Finally as I n samuel was leaving, he saw a frnd and decided to call her at the arrow place n see what the arrow people would say abt her. He called " Cynthia cynthia" as she turned to look who it was, the arrow lord said korrect ah this girl fat ooh mogbe!! Nd further said boys oya na before I knew it they all started singing in a loud tone
"Cynthia u are bigger than what people say
  Aunty u are bigger than what people say
  Some say faculty, some say basement
U are bigger than what people call u
 Many say Uniben, others say Ubth
 U are bigger than what people say!!
Lwkmd as I nearly laughed off my ass.. samuel felt pity for her as we walk down the arrow block, he regretted his decision of calling her at sich a place.....


This episode specially written by
           ( WILSAM)

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