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Connection:Thatbeningirl

Connection

I feel things words won't help explain 
Exhaustion, anger, sadness, isolation, loneliness
I hide them out of fear, fear of looking weak_maudlin 
Fear of being taken advantage of,
It's a sad thing, feeling alone in the company of many 
Being referred to as a piece of "meat" for consumption 
After then, thrown to the dogs_forgotten 
Then the past glory are reminisced by the unworthy who was lucky enough to nibble on such "meat"
I am a piece of "meat" left in the bowl, frightened to be chosen
Too Paranoid to accept any hand dipped into the bowl to grasp me
Some call me "choosy," others "proud."
It's also sad how they can not distinguish  selective from choosy
The choosy know what they want, the selective just wants_and discriminate 
I need solace, a hand that wouldn't reprimand me for being paranoid or defensively angry 
A hand that wouldn't offer me just debauched desires
A hand that would feel these things were already offered... Beautiful beguilement called 'fun'
I crave something different, something they don't see 
But, I often grow silent when I should offer these answers when asked 
The words evaporate, maybe they shouldn't be said until when necessary_to someone necessary
When its time and the day dawns, I'll be sure to say 
I want to feel a connection_an inner peace 
@Thatbeningirl

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